IFcomp 2016: Take (Amelia Pinnolla)

The subtitle is “One joke, until expiration.” It’s promising that the author realizes jokes aren’t funny if you repeat them too much! Here’s the blurb:

You are battle-weary. Your armor is scanty and your countenance is loathsome; you tire of the swords flicking at your neck. But you have a duty. There is nothing you can’t take.

(Content warning: Violence, implied adult themes, fameballs.)

Fameballs? What a fameball? (You should really play the game before you read the rest of this.) 

i
TAKE does not use the standard Inform parser you may be familiar with. Besides the standard commands (RESTART, RESTORE, ABOUT, LOOK, EXAMINE) there is only one command you will ever need: to TAKE something, possibly more than once.

I won’t ever need to look at my inventory? Truly a departure from the traditional parser.

take all
You can’t use multiple objects with that verb.

>:(

take shield
You write a comprehensive guide to shield use in battle. It’s meant for defenders like you, but attackers will see it as well. It’s more readers; you can’t care.

OH MY GOD.

I can write so many hot takes. So, so many.

take punch
That’s not something you need to take.

:(

Battleground
They always have you fight at different sites, to preserve the novelty. This one’s under a bridge, at night when the sky glows orange. It rather resembles a picturesque sewer: a fenced-in platform, bloodspattered just so, raised over a sea of grime and bones. It’s unnaturally dark. There could be a hundred people around you or there could be none.

I really like this room description!

take blood
Which do you mean, blood or the blood?
>blood
Which do you mean, blood or the blood?
>the blood
Which do you mean, blood or the blood?

oops i found a bug

Okay, so if you’re reading this you’ve already played, right? The end is kind of weird to me. There’s a hot take here about how a man wins a fight against a woman by using the woman, but, uh, I don’t know how to get the game to recognize that (nor do I care to write one here).

(ps what’s a fameball)